I’m Glad I Don’t Know Everything…..Anymore

There actually was a time in my life when I thought I knew everything….worth knowing.  Okay that’s not really accurate.   Even then I didn’t have the hubris to believe I knew EVERYTHING.  However, I did believe I knew quite a lot.  Then life started teaching me.  Now I realize how little it is even possible to KNOW.

What I have learned through experience is life is fluid and words are like mercury. We see life as we are…not as it is.   Having made decisions and judgements in several different frames of mind it is fascinating to discover just how much influence there is in perspective and attitude.  So, how is it possible to “know” things, if that is true?

While living life from intellect seemed the only safe and predictable way to go, there was always a flatness to it.  And mistakes were embarassing…to say the least.  Allowing feelings to run the show was a whole different can of worms.  Some days little or nothing got accomplished while other days were action packed from dawn to dusk.  You could call that balance, I guess.  Either way…something seemed to be missing.  Certainty.  I know what I’m doing.  Or, I know what you are doing….

Living without certainty, predictability is not new to me anymore.  It may surprise you, as it did me, I have gotten more comfortable than I ever thought possible.  The surprises are more often pleasant, the shocks are fewer.  It’s not that life is all peaches and cream….more an acceptance of pits in life as a bowl of cherries.

I have a VERY limited understanding of quantuum physics.  Perhaps it is even a misunderstanding. That said, I believe we see the effects more often than we realize.  Should we ever decide to work in unity, the world, as we know it, will no longer exist.

You won’t see me walking around with a sign saying THE END IS NEAR because that’s not what I’m talking about.  I did actually see someone with a sign like that when I was a kid.  Fifty years later, we’re still here. The end I’m perceiving is quite different and nothing like the destructive scenarios Hollywood is so fond of.  And it’s still a long way off….for better and for worse.

What I’m seeing is more people disatisfied with intellect and machines as the be all, end all of human development.  More people are seeking meaning in life outside work, money, religion, politics, etc. More people are seeing how faulty most of the doctrine is.  If we don’t throw the baby out with the bath water…we should be okay.

Having jumped into this rabbit hole I feel compelled to continue.  Bear with me or not as wisdom leads you.

I am in contention with “new age” religion, as I have seen and heard it, because I perceive it as sugar coated wishful thinking.  Perhaps I didn’t give them a fair try, judged them by the little I have experienced and read of it.  Entirely possible, even likely.  I get quickly annoyed when people go on about positive and negative thinking in a superficial way.  It does not gel with my experience. When I hear people announcing far and wide how happy, joyous and free they are my first thought is, liar.  Lately, being in a more compassionate space it’s more like…wishful thinker……or…who exactly are you trying to convince?  Changing attitudes and perceptions requires effort.  Examination and ownership of mine. As they are now. Living with the discomfort while finding the honesty, openness and willingness to change. Knowing all the while that it won’t happen over night.  Oddly, not as grim as it sounds…although. there are moments, days, sometimes weeks or more.  Even at the grimmest times there are rays of light, moments of joy and laughter, grace.

And that is why I don’t believe the end is near…unless we really do have Hollywoods’ cataclysmic destruction.  We have the tecnology for it.   That’s a scary thought I choose not to dwell on.  I accept the reality of it and keep putting one foot in front of the other seeking ….ways to change from inside out and demonstrate that change so others may choose to follow.  Moving on whether others follow or not.  Knowing that because I don’t know everything I could be wrong in my perceptions and beliefs, or,  just in a different place.

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